Starting all over

12:18 AM

Hi guys,
I find it funny how many times I have started over and over this blog well more
like tried but gave up.I find that yes I love to write  but I also have been lacking the motivation that I needed to get up and do what I love. 
I fell into this downward spiral that has honestly lasted about 2 years. It lead me 
to leave the fashion world that I honestly love and it also took me to a very unhealthy relationship and unhealthy lifestyle. By unhealthy I mean that I stopped taking care of myself both physically and mentally. It has honestly been probably one of the worst times of my life. 
But I am sitting here now, typing this making a commitment to myself. To do what I love to do no matter what it is as well as trying new things in life. I am still young and I still have a lot that I need to do in this world to make a change not just for myself but hopefully inspire others even if it is just my younger sisters. I want to be a positive influence not someone who is seen as the 
“what you shouldn't do” example. 
As my birthday approaches (2 days from today) I realize that enough is enough and that I cant sit on my ass and not do something about it. 
I commit to keep myself accountable for the next couple of months to have a different lifestyle so that I become a better, well rounded person. I used to love 
reading and I cannot remember the last time I opened up a book in the past 2 
years. This blog will be a lifestyle blog, I will write about anything and everything that I find interesting. It could be a fashion post or maybe about a topic I heard of online, about my fitness journey to get back to a healthy lifestyle
 or about a book that I just finished reading. 
Either way I commit to make the change that needs to happen before I look back and regret not doing all the things that I should have done 
while I still have the chance.
We all go through a period in our lives where we are in a rut and don't know what to do, but what matters is that we find the motivation to climb out of the hole that we dug up on our own and make the change. Yes its hard but nobody will save us from our own wrong doings, they can help but it is up to us to accept the help.
I felt for a very long time that the things happening around me weren't my fault and that if it was my fault that there was nothing I could do to avoid them but in reality I had given up. It is hard to admit that to myself because I have always been a very confident person but one event in your life and totally throw your entire life upside down and cause so much chaos that you don't even realize what is going on until it is too late. Yes it took me 2 years to realize how wrong I was and for that switch to click 
BUT it happened and now it is up to me to move forward. 
Life is about learning and growing and that is exactly what I intend to do, yes I probably wont do well in everything I try to do but I commit to give it my 110% every single time no matter what, and if I fail its because I tried but it just wasn't meant to be and not because I tried and simply gave up because it was too hard.
Im not sure what my plan is but ill figure it out as I go and so will whoever chooses to accompany me in this journey through my blog. Maybe your someone going through the same situation as well and we can motivate each other. 
But for now I say goodnight.

p.s. I though of deleting my previews post but ehh I think ill keep some of them as a way to remember what it was before

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